Birthday

I always hear mothers say how quickly their children grow up. It seems like every other day, when Jude and I are out, some woman will stop me and say, "enjoy this time, they grow up so fast." Then they tell me how old their "baby" is now--eight years old, seventeen or forty-five. Well, one year has almost come to Jude so we celebrated a little early with two of our dear friends, the Benton's and the Takemoto's. Lennox is 6 weeks older than Jude, and Ricky is one month older, so we threw a joint birthday party at a nearby park. Many good friends came and the weather was just right.

Since I was young, my mom has made beautiful cakes for us for birthdays, graduations, and even weddings! My dilemma was this: I wanted to have a homemade cake for the boys' party, but I knew that it would probably end up looking like they made it themselves. So I figured that I couldn't do much wrong with cupcakes--solid colored cupcakes I can do. It's a caterpillar, by the way. I'm sorry to say that Kevin could not figure out exactly what it was (sorry Mom, I guess I just don't have it)...

The Donning of the Birthday Hats:

Happy Birthday dear Knox, Ricky, Jude...

Cutie pies...

Laura and Mari have been special friends for me, I am so thankful for them. I have needed these friendships and support like never before. They are what I will miss most when we leave this year.

Terabithia

Across the street from our house is a city park, Baker Park, that we go to a good bit to throw the ball with Pippin or push Jude in the swing. I suppose it's the same with all city parks, but this is one of those places where you would not want to go after dark, and you certainly wear your rubber soled shoes. Other than the more than occasional used condom (um...?), you don't want to be wearing flip flops for fear of stepping on broken glass or a stray needle. Nevertheless there are kids playing there during the day and there is a nice (graffitied) playground, fields for soccer and baseball, and a basketball court that is always occupied.


So one day, about four years ago now, we were at the park throwing the ball to Pippin when we noticed a chain link gate in one corner. I figured that it could only lead to deep dark places, but of course Kevin wanted to check it out. We walked through the gate and down a little dirt path, and all of a sudden the sky cleared and a ray of sunshine fell on our path. Two Robins flew down to us tweeting a familiar song and they were each holding a small wreath of flowers that they dropped down on our heads. Green grass magically spread before us as an ancient Willow tree bowed down, plucked us off our feet, and set us in the middlle of a strange sparkling land.

Well, that's how I remember it anyway. I called it Narnia at first, and then the Secret Garden, and then decided that it was more like Terabithia (minus the rope swing and menacing creatures). It's actually a very old cemetary, full of very old gravestones and very old trees. I asked our neighbor, Bill, if he knew it was there and had ever walked there before. He looked at me like I was crazy and asked, "doesn't it smell?" He's a bit supersticious and apparently doesn't know about embalming.

Usually the only people that we meet on our walks in the cemetary are other dog walkers, whom we greet like we are in some kind of secret society. I get the feeling that they are like us and don't want too many others to find out it's there. There is an occasional Crazy in there too, like the guy who Kevin has seen twice piling up leaves and then diving into them and swimming around.

Kevin and I have had so many important talks here, and now that we are leaving NJ, every walk in the cemetary reminds us that we won't get to take it with us. It's been our end of the day ritual to take a long walk and talk about whatever is important to us at the time. Years ago we talked about maybe starting to try and have a baby. Then we talked about adoption, and then all the implications of in vitro fertilization. Then I dragged my huge pregnant self out there and we read all the names on the graves trying to discover a goodie. We imagined ourselves pushing a stroller along the pathways. Jude's first trip to Terabithia was when he was a week and a half old.

Here are some pictures that we took in our premature nostalgia.

This is the entrance to the park right accross from our house

These are just some shots of Jude tolerating us swinging him. I think he wonders why we get so excited about pushing him in this crazy contraption

Here's Kevin and Jude crossing over into Terabithia through the gate in the corner of the park

Here are some Terabithia shots. Wait, now I'm nervous that i've built it up too much. Disclaimer: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and these beholders live in urban New Jersey where trees are scarce and front lawns are littered with Goya soda bottles and Cheetos bags.

this is a picture of what is right outside one of the gates

Junk yard dog on one edge of the cemetary that would love to get his paws on Pippin

Tomb of Robert Wood Johnson (of the Johnson & Johnson family)

And my personal favorite tomb in the entire cemetary

An Indulgent Post

This weekend at church a good friend of ours, David D., said something to me about Jude that I don't want to forget. David really loves Jude, it's easy to tell. He said, "You know how sometimes you will read something in scripture that just jumps out at you and makes you feel alive, and you know it's because the Word is living and active? That's the feeling I get when I look at Jude." Something like that. Whoa. I feel that way too. Love wells up inside of me when I least expect it. There will just be a moment when he is playing all by himself, or when he looks at me with recognition and I just think, I am so lucky to be his mom.

David also asked me, "Do you think God looks at us this way?" I can't think of where else we would have gotten this from. Wow, what would change in my life if I really believed that my love for Jude was only a fraction of God's love for me? Does God watch me, like I do Jude, when I'm so unaware of His attention? Does He get that fizzy feeling in the pit of His stomach that is like he is going to dissolve of pure joy at any minute just by watching me?

I literally can't take my eyes off of Jude. I feel like I spend my days just staring at him. I want to catch and catalog every expression and every new thing he does. Fascination is the word. I am glued to this kid, waiting to see what he will do next, like he is a slow moving movie. I try to imagine what it must be like to see a pigeon for the first time (we did that today), or to feel the rain splash in your eyes (we did a lot of that last week). I remember the first time he felt a strong wind in his face. His eyes got really big and he gasped-- like gasped-- and looked at me like, "what was that?" Pure exhiliration.

He's almost crawling (forward), almost pulling up to stand, almost getting his 3rd and 4th tooth. When I talk to him he pays real close attention like I might say a word he would recognize. He loves to be outside, loves Pippin, and thinks hanging upside down is hilarious. Daddy gets the biggest smiles and the most laughs, but he still prefers to be in my arms. I'm ok with this because I know there will be a day when he realizes that Dad is much more fun to hang out with than I am!

So, here is one of those moments when I felt like my heart would burst. He's not doing anything very astonishing, just being cute.

Here are a few other pictures. We more than made up for the rain this week, it was gorgeous out. We spent most of our days outside. He thought it was funny to see me walk in front of the porch while he looked out between the slats.

A Day in the Life of Jude

Basically I just had a bunch of cute pictures I wanted to share.

Jude has an agenda for each day (someone has to), so we always start out with Staff Meeting in the mornings. Let's see what we have on the docket for today...

First, you can roll that little red car to me over and over again. Then, I may take a nap, but I also might not, let's just keep that hour clear. After that you can change my diaper and then make me laugh by hanging me upside down. Ok?

Ok, that's a wrap.

Next we like to play a little game called, "mommy changes my diaper and then I don't let her put my clothes back on."

I'm smooth like that, I foil her everytime...

W'at up, yo?


We love to open the mail. Hey, there's something here for me!

It's a Valentine from my sweet friend Sara...

I love Sara...

Next we like to watch a little Oprah, she is so bright and pretty... (should I be admitting this?)

Ok, now free time-- play play play! Look at this block, it's a "C" which stands for, Come and get it if you can!

What would you like for dinner tonight? As long as it requires a huge slotted spoon, a whisk, and a good deal of pounding, I can make it...

Hey, there's Pippin. Is that his head or his bottom?

Wait a minute, what? The day is over and I have to go to sleep? Noooooooo!

The Point's 5th Birthday & Burlington, VT

Every once in a while Christin gives me (Kevin) the opportunity to write on her... I mean our blog. She’s especially cool with it since today our church celebrated it’s 5th birthday, and we made an exciting yet difficult announcement during the worship service.

It’s hard to believe the Point Church turned five. Just like five years ago we were hit with a snow storm this weekend. Five years ago we had a “do over” at launching the next weekend due to the impassable roads- this year we were fortunate that the road crews cleared the roads by Saturday afternoon.

A lot has happened over these past five years. I can still remember the first time Christin and I visited New Brunswick in December of 2003. We had only spent four hours in this city and were both thinking, “this is exactly the kind of place I could see God sending us to plant a church.” Just a few months later in June of 2004 we were packing up and moving our lives from the Atlanta area to New Brunswick.

In those first few months when we just had a handful of people worshiping in downtown apartments, we had some very simple God-given ideas about the church God was leading us to start. We knew God cared a great deal about New Brunswick. We knew He wanted this church to be a safe place to discover the incredible journey of knowing and following Jesus. He wanted this church to become a real spiritual family where we could learn to share our lives with each other. He wanted this church to love and serve this city in the name of Jesus. We have not done any of this perfectly, yet five years later these are more than hypothetical ideas or prayers we hope to see God answer. These ideas are what we see God doing around us every day.

I am blown away by all that God has done- especially in and through the people’s lives He has placed around us. My life, our life, the life of our present and future family members have been forever impacted by these relationships.

One of the most exciting and most difficult parts of this day was sharing with our spiritual family what God is calling us as a church and specifically Christin and I to do next. Last year at the Points’ 4th Birthday Party our pastoral team announced that as a team we’d be looking at several Northeastern cities as the next potential place for the Point to plant a church. Christin and I have always tried to remain open to whatever God wants, but I do not believe either of us foresaw God moving us to lead this new church plant and start the process over again.

It has taken almost a year of prayer, research, and deliberation for God to reveal to us that He wants us to lead a team to plant this new church in Burlington, VT. There are many reasons why Burlington and why us, but I’d rather unpack those reasons in a later post. Let me just say that it’s something like when you meet the person you are going to marry. Sometimes you have a good idea this is “the one” on the first date. Sometimes it takes years and the roller coaster of breaking up and getting back together again before you know. The bottom line, though, is that at some point in time you know because God somehow lets you know. With New Brunswick we knew on the “first date”, but with Burlington it has taken a year long process. One big reason is that we are so attached to the Point Church and New Brunswick, and it has taken God a year to pry my hands away... one finger at a time.

To say this is bittersweet is such an understatement. We are torn inside by God’s leading and our heart for the place we call home and the people we call family. 381 Remsen Ave. in New Brunswick is our home. We love this city and the people our lives intersect with every day so much. This is where we have spent the majority of our married life, where we’ve really learned to live as husband and wife, and where we’ve begun to raise our little boy. The Point is our family- as I often say, “We aren’t like a family. We are a family of brothers and sisters in Jesus.” These are my friends who have supported me as both a friend and pastor these past five years.

I’ll let you briefly know what we know about the future. I plan to step down from my role as Executive Pastor at the end of August. Christin and I then plan to take a two month sabbatical, then move to Burlington in late 2010 or early 2011. We are getting on the roller coaster of church planting for another ride!

In these coming months we have asked our spiritual family to...
Pray- we’ll keep you updated on specific requests, but you can begin by praying for us and the Point as we make this transition in the next few months.

Give- the Point is already committing to help fund this new church, but we’ll be praying for God to lead additional churches and individuals to partner with us financially.

Go- we are praying and looking for a team of committed Christians to move with us to Burlington just as a small team moved to New Brunswick to start the Point.


We’ll keep you updated on what God is doing as we continue on this journey.

***INCLUDED ON THIS POST IS A VIDEO SHOWN AT THE POINT CHURCH’S 5TH BIRTHDAY PARTY. A SECOND IS COMING LATER TODAY.

I Am Certain that I Don't Know

Jude is 7 months old! I feel like I am getting the hang of this mothering thing in some ways, but there are still times when I don't know what in the world I am supposed to be doing with him. It's like, we wake up in the morning and then I spend the next couple of hours waiting for him to tell me what to do until it dawns on me that, whoa, I am in charge here.


It takes my breath away when I think of how I'm supposed to teach him everything he needs to know to be happy, wise, kind.... Shouldn't I be reading to him more? Mimicking him? Rolling balls to him? Does he need one of those cubes where you put the different shapes into the holes yet? Should I make him stay on his belly for 10 minutes every day even though he doesn't like it? Am I feeding him enough? Too much? Did I leave him in that bouncy seat too long today? Is it going to delay his walking? Does he really need the 1 ml of flouride that I put in his cereal every morning? Why do I feel guilty on cold nights where I get to huddle under quilts in my bed while he sleeps blanketless in his crib? Oh, and speaking of sleep, who knew that getting a baby to sleep was actually under the category of Rocket Science? To cry, or not to cry? Either way, I end up crying.


Sigh. There are moments, though, that shatter my neurosis into a million pieces. I walk into his room every morning and after every nap to be greeted by this huge 2-tooth grin and wiggling legs. Sometimes he even lets out a sigh of relief as if to say, "she came back." Then comes the snuggling--he burrows his little fuzzy head into my chest and sits there awhile as he wakes up. So happy and content. I must be doing something right.

Skinny Latte for the Little Guy

Hey Jude, revised

Our good friend David Dabney came by the other night with a beautiful gift for Jude. David is a really wonderful musician and artist and has blessed our church with his original music over the last year. David recorded his version of Hey Jude for us and then came over with his guitar for a little personal concert. Jude loves music and was mesmerized by David and his guitar. The reworked lyrics are below, what a blessing for our son to have this sung over him.

Hey, Jude, don't make it bad

Take a sad song and make it better

Remember to let Him into your heart

Then He can start to make it better

Hey, Jude, don’t be afraid

You were saved by our Lord, Perfector

The minute you let Him under your skin

Then He begins to make it better.

What a blessed giving in, may Jude begin

To seek the One whom he belongs with

And any time you feel the pain, just call His Name

He’ll give you voice to sing a song with

Hey, Jude- we’ll let you down

But there’s One who’ll never fail you

He wants you to love with all of your heart

To let you take part in making earth better

And any time you feel the pain, just call My Name

You will learn as you get older

We spend forever loving you-hey, Jude, We do,

My hand is always on your shoulder

Hey, Jude, don’t you be sad

Put your hope in something better

Remember to let Him into your heart

Then He can start to make it better